Of all the contacts I received after INTO THE FRINGE was released, Amy's first letter was the most compelling. She wrote, as she explained, because it was the only way to get free of a compulsion that had begun in November 1992, after an extraordinary dream. The following week, she bought and read my book, and then began the compulsion to write me and share the dream.
Amy, however, as I would find out, has a strong sense of independence, self-control, logic, skepticism, and an admirable stubbornness. She resisted the "ridiculous" compulsion for several months, but by April she was ready to get it out of her system and reasoned that writing the letter would end it.
In the first part, Amy described some unusual events that corresponded with things I related in INTO THE FRINGE. These included odd phone behavior, which she humorously attributed to "The Phantom of the Opera-tor," and unexplained electrical problems and noises in the house. None of the unusual experiences were attributed to alien activity, a glaring absence in comparison to the other contacts I'd gotten. But then she began to describe the dream. In the first scene, Amy and her daughters were in a campground where "huge tarantulas"
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chased them. They got in the car and drove away, but the car started flying upward, over the trees, where she saw a huge moon.
"In front of the moon," she wrote, "I saw the silhouettes of some small, thin beings. They had big heads like the aliens I've heard about, and they were moving about in front of the moon or light that glowed behind them. One turned and looked at me, and I saw large, black eyes. I wasn't afraid of him. I thought, Well, I've never actually seen one of them-now I know what they look like."
She heard a loud noise approaching, and then she flew onto a metal-roofed house. "I knew the metal might be hot," she noted, "so I knew not to touch it." Amy was on the second story, where she looked through "large windows" into one of the rooms. There she saw a group of men talking excitedly and heard a softer, female, voice telling them to "calm down because there was work to do." The men looked human, but the female was part of "a group of non-Earth representatives."
When she was brought into the room, she said, "The humans introduced me to a female alien wearing a white plastic mask so that her appearance would not frighten the others and so they wouldn't focus on her eyes. Even though she wore a mask, I could see her eyes through the holes in the mask. They were big, black eyes. From that point on, I remember being right next to her, and her face stayed very close to my face...very intense!"
The first part in the campground was either a natural dream or a screened sequence, but the illusory force rapidly disappeared as she moved from the campground to the room in the alien's company.
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Amy said the alien explained that her race had been doing things to humans that they should not be doing. "She and several groups of her race wanted to stop the 'abuse' of the humans by her race. They were working with certain people on Earth to stop the process. The other humans in the room were ex-pilots, military officials, and other professionals."
I was riveted, now, because Amy's account echoed that of information I'd recently received, from two widely separated sources, about a covert program or effort by certain parties in the intelligence and military organizations to resist alien abductions and to assist abductees in certain ways.
There was no doubt in my mind that some in the military had an active hand in monitoring and questioning abductees, as my husband Casey had gone through such an experience. Other abductees-including Leah Haley and Debbie Jordan-had also reported contacts, intrusions, and kidnappings by human, seemingly military, agents, and there was objective evidence in some cases to back up the reports. But this was a far cry from accounts of human agents actively helping abductees, much less a coalition of human and alien parties working against the abduction agenda, as the information alleged to come from the intelligence community has claimed. So far as I knew, this claim was not generally known from public ufological material. Yet here it was in Amy's dream.
Her account went on to say that the masked alien dominated Amy's attention, "putting" information directly into her mind. "She explained all kinds of things, but I don't remember it all," Amy wrote. "I think I remember my role in the plan, but I don't like
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knowing so I forget. I don't want to remember!
"After she told me about those things, she told me about implants. She put a thin, pencil-like metal instrument in my right ear and I thought, Ohl This is gonna hurtl but I couldn't move or stop her. To my surprise, it didn't hurt! She pulled out the instrument, and on one end was a flat, circular, small, flesh-colored...thing. It was...reddish colored but sort of transparent. If I looked closely I could see something inside the thing.
'This part," Amy stressed, "when she pulled that thing out of my ear, was the most real seeming, the most clear and most intense part of my dream. It was very important that I remember! I think she said that to me."
Amy said the alien explained certain things about the implant, and then she bent over while the alien removed a second implant from Amy's neck. It was a "dark, cylindrical" object about "three centimeters long" with "something sticking on the end of it like very fine wires." The alien then explained how the implant operated.
"She showed me the thing she had pulled out of my neck," Amy reported, "and said, This is embedded deep into the spinal cord. I can't remember exactly what she explained about it, but I think the thing controlled the muscles of the body when activated. It blocked the brain and became the 'central command' of the body. She also said that sometimes these things were implanted into a person's lower back somewhere between the fourth lumbar and the sacrococcygeal, but it was more commonly 'planted' in the neck. I don't want to remember how or why this thing functioned."
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The alien told Amy more about the implants, about her group's efforts to remove them from abductees, and other things Amy couldn't recall.
"I remember that she was sorry for what some of 'her people' had done," Amy wrote, "but she-and others-were trying to help. The last thing I remember was that she was showing me something on a very large TV or computer screen or window."
Amy then concluded her letter, saying that when she read my book she thought she should share the dream with me, although it felt "ridiculous" to write to someone about a "dream." She made no claims for the dream, nor for having any actual alien experiences, and she did not ask for any advice, help, or response. Clearly, Amy had written the letter only to make the compulsion "stop bugging" her.
I didn't need an invitation to respond, however, as her information was too compelling to ignore. Amy had commented that "certain elements of my dream resembled parts of your book," but when I read back through the dream I could see very little actual similarity other than the facts that my husband had seen military people in an abduction and that I had recalled an ear implant. I suspected there were other details she hadn't shared, however, because people very often hold back from the entire truth when first "testing the waters" with someone they don't know. And not only was I intrigued by the content of the dream, I was also curious to know more about Amy's potential situation because she lived in the very same city where my family and I lived during the experiences I wrote about in FRINGE. Finally there was the fact of her compulsion to contact me rather than some other researcher, and the possibility that
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our contact was being directed.
I got her number from information and phoned as soon as possible. I learned that she was a divorced mother of two young daughters who had just finished her master's degree in counseling. She was born in Dallas in 1953, of Scotch, Irish, English, and French ("Cajun") ancestry and had lived most of her life in the Metroplex area. Amy was truly surprised by my interest. In fact, as she later confessed humorously, she wondered if I were "one taco short of a full combo plate" for being "interested in a dream."
Amy did agree, however, to share more information about many of her experiences, which she confessed were rather "fringe-like" even though they didn't in conscious reality involve aliens or UFOs. I asked her to describe any past unusual events, of any sort, and a few weeks later she complied, with a list of psychic, dream, telepathic, and miscellaneous experiences.
"It was a lot harder [to make the list] than I expected," she said. "It was like trying to see through a dense fog. I've always kept these things at a distance from my awareness."
That distance was rapidly diminishing, and in the course of the next several months, we explored together her memories and the accounts found in the journals she had kept for many years. Amy's progressive self-rediscovery is a story of its own. layer after layer of repression and denial were stripped away as she read back through the journals and realized that some powerful phenomenon had been part of her life from the beginning.
Even as young as four, Amy had a feeling of "influence" from an unseen source. By seven, she had
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recognized this source more directly, calling it the "Many in One" because she could hear many people speaking in unison. In adolescence Amy called this force the "Council."
"At first I only heard them talking to one another, not to me," she explained. "I have only heard them audibly a few times, like when they told me my mother was going to die (she did) and other events that would happen in the future (the events did happen)," she explained. "I usually sense a dialogue of symbols, images, and concepts. When I 'listen,' I forget how to speak, words cease to exist, and I forget what using vocal cords feels like. I call it the 'language without words.' No trance states."
She also had a brief yet vivid memory of seeing a small, dark figure move rapidly into her bedroom doorway and crouch down one night. And when she was ten, Amy recalled walking alone into a field near her house very early one morning. She had no idea why she was going there, and she couldn't remember what happened when she arrived nor much about her return home.
In 1965, Amy dreamed of being in the back yard and waving goodbye to a UFO hovering above her, and the next moment she woke up surprised to be in her bed. The dream felt so real that she got up to see if the UFO was still nearby. It should be recalled, incidentally, that 1965 was a major "flap" year for UFO sightings and encounters throughout the country.
A few months later, Amy went through a sudden internal change of attitudes and interests, began to study the sciences, and blossomed intellectually in school. The psychic element also grew increasingly
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stronger, and in her later teenage years Amy started having many dreams of an unknown "lady" teaching her intensely about a number of things, beginning with levitation. Although she called them dreams, the teaching sessions had a real effect on Amy, and she once accidentally levitated a bottle of shampoo and almost frightened herself to death. When the sessions began to include instructions on affecting electrical systems, Amy sometimes witnessed the physical, external effects of her ability on appliances in her environment.
This is also the time when she accepted the fact that her existence was somehow being guided by the Council. She was led to study certain subjects and was implanted with many concepts and ideas about time, space, physics and other complex thoughts. Altogether, in fact, Amy became aware of a sense of destiny and purpose she couldn't understand but could only feel as a certainty.
"I'm scared," she noted in her journal for January 1971, "because something so unknown and powerful is pulling at me, every moment I'm caught off guard and pulled. I'm being pulled to a state or level of mind I cannot fight...eventually I'll go, but in order that I won't be pulled under I've got to prepare. Every time, I shout, 'I'm not ready, leave me be!' and if I think of something else I'm okay." Other entries during this period include the comments, "I know certain things must be done, like a robot I obey," and "I feel like a messenger. I have always felt my purpose, but I never knew it."
Much of what she received came not in words but in images and concepts. There was one statement, however, in which the words were clear: I am I. I am
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many. We are many. I am not. Amy said this statement was a sort of "riddle" about the Council. "It referred to my existence as an individual (I am I), my union with all minds (I am many), my absorption into the Oneness (We are many), and my identity as One (I am not). It is repeated often in my diaries. It's sort of like an 'oath,' 'pledge/ or understanding."
It is also quite reminiscent of messages given to Lisa and Anita, the They are you-you are them told to Lisa and the IRU-URI communication Anita received during a "question and answer" meditation.
Amy continued to have the training-session dreams, recorded in volumes of journals, in which she was shown how to perform levitation, affect electrical systems, and move through solid objects.
Looking back through the journals, she turned up a wealth of evidence showing the long-term involvement of unknown forces in Amy's life. Some of these details, in spite of her insistence that she had no recollection of being abducted, did indicate probable alien activity in the midst of it all.
Indicators of alien involvement such as time gaps and UFO sightings were in her journal and in her memory, although she had downplayed most of these events. Besides the missing-time episode and the small crouching figure she'd seen at age seven-which was accompanied by her eye being matted shut the next morning-there was also an incident at age fifteen of an unexplained physical presence intruding upon her.
Staying with her niece one night, Amy felt there was "something" in the bedroom before she went to sleep. She turned the light back on to look, but no one was visible. After going to sleep, she had a strange,
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frightening dream about a family trying to reach the spirit of a dead relative, and when the people in the dream started screaming at one point, Amy started screaming, too, and woke up.
"I felt someone kicking or jabbing me in the back, the whole bed was shaking, the canopy was flapping, and I felt someone/ something in my room again. I ran...to my mother's room and told her, and she kissed me and said it was just a bad dream." It was so upsetting, in fact, that she refused to sleep in that room for two weeks.
Other suspicious dreams were recorded through the years, including two in 1977 that hinted strongly of an alien encounter beneath a screen memory. Amy said she dreamed "of being called out of my house by a small boy standing in the wooded park" nearby. "He took my hand," she said, "and we walked into the park at night."
The description of the second dream was more detailed. "I just dreamt a 'lady-doctor' gave me a shot, a tranquilizer," she noted in an April 1977 entry. 'Then she disappeared and in the next dream I was being hypnotized. A man whom I seemed to trust and several other people I could barely see were standing around me. The man was so gentle; he told me to relax and somehow telepathically he explained [that] the dream I had earlier of receiving a tranquilizer was sort of a pre-hypnotic suggestion to relax me for the next dream. He then hypnotized me. I don't remember the rest, but my feelings in the dream were that of reaching out to those energy forces I call the Council."
This one was the most intriguing dream to date. In some ways it seemed to fit the screening phenomenon
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behind which abductions are often hidden, but it also seemed to have a very actual and "human" element to it.
That was not the case, however, with a dream Amy recorded on May 27, 1981, and it was here that the indication of alien activity became palpable. "I had the most unusual dream the other night," she noted. "I don't ever remember dreaming such a dream before. My body was floating horizontally through the house. I've dreamt of flying before and such, but always vertical and always mixed with unreal elements. But in this dream I knew I was asleep and I floated through my bedroom door, through the kitchen, turned the corner and floated into the back porch. I saw the walls go by, and each detail was as it really is. I began to note the lack of unconscious symbols as in a dream and felt alarm. I became frightened at the moment I felt it was not a dream. I felt suddenly sucked back into my bed -through the wall?!"
Amy drew a picture of the scenario as she'd remembered it in 1981. "Of all the dreams I've ever had," she wrote, "I'd say that was not a dream! It seemed real, it looked real, and it felt real. I don't know how, but I know I woke up exactly at the point I drew in the picture. I remember going through the window in the back door... I remember going up through the tree limbs. That's all I remember until I felt 'sucked' back into my bed."
The details of her "dream" were exactly like those reported in many abduction onsets, and this, coupled with the earlier possible missing-time episode and other indicators, pointed to alien involvement with Amy.
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She had a conscious UFO sighting the following year, in July 1982, when she was living in the north Texas city where my family and I had also lived-at the same time, in fact, though unacquainted with one another. When she first mentioned this sighting to me in an early letter, she skimmed over the incident, saying merely, "I think I've only seen a UFO (actually five UFOs) once when they flew over my apartment years ago." I asked her for more details when we met, but her account was not much more specific. She said she was outside in the daytime when she saw the five craft approaching, and that she had called out to a neighbor to look at them, too, and then had walked around her apartment still watching them.
But later, Amy told me that "something weird" occurred during that discussion. "I didn't tell you, but it has bothered me since," she said. "I remember seeing the UFOs coming toward me as I sat in front of the apartments. Then they flew, slowly and without any sound, directly overhead. That part is still vividly clear. I realized what they were, and I got excited. I yelled at the guy in the apartment nearest to come see them. Then I walked along under them, directly under them...and I never took my eyes off them.
"But when I reached the back of the apartments, my memory is all messed up. Up to that point, everything is crystal clear...but after I went to the back of the apartments, I have two sets of memories. I remember watching them fly off slowly, but I also remember getting binoculars or my small telescope and looking at them. I didn't have binoculars at all. My telescope was still packed away."
Unfamiliar with the screening practices employed during abductions, Amy couldn't understand how
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there could be differing memories of the same time span. One 'memory track' contains the conscious parameters of the event: initial sighting of the UFOs, calling to her neighbor, walking toward the back of the apartments, and seeing the craft fly away. What is missing from this track is the continuity from the point where she sees the UFOs directly over her, to the point where she is watching them depart-a missing-time episode.
The second 'memory track' apparently provided a filler for that time gap. This memory tells her that she watched the UFOs through either a telescope or binoculars in that interim, which would have necessitated her going into the apartment at some point and unpacking a box to get the telescope, or getting binoculars, and going back outside, where her conscious memory picked up again. But this clearly didn't happen in reality, no matter what the second memory track told her, for the box was still packed and she did not even own binoculars. Something else happened in the time gap which she was not allowed to recall correctly, which is standard operating procedure in an abduction.
The event was confusing to Amy, as were the dreams she occasionally had of waving farewell to a UFO. In one such dream from the winter of 1988, she was with her daughters in a field behind their apartment, waving goodbye to the UFO. "When I woke up in bed," she said, "I was still cold from being outside. I got up and went to make sure the kids were back in bed, that's how real it seemed to me.
In all of these previous events and dreams and memories, Amy had recalled nothing about actual
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aliens or being inside a UFO. The dream of November 1992, however, where she clearly saw the gray, masked female "non-Earth representative," took her, reluctantly, to a much more intense level of recognition that the alien phenomenon was a part of her life.
And when Amy realized how numerous and complex the unusual events had been since her childhood, she decided to explore some of those memories through regressive hypnosis. As a counselor, she was familiar with the theory of regression work, but she had never experienced it.
Amy arranged to meet with Barbara Bartholic in the summer of 1992 and went through two regression sessions, hoping to learn more about the part of her life that had been kept from her. In the first regression, they explored some early childhood and adolescent memories, but it was extremely difficult for Amy verbally to relate much of what she recalled in the trance state. It became apparent that Amy's response was inhibited by a severe block against talking about her experiences, especially when she was able to remember a threat made to her by a Gray when she was very young. In that fragmented memory, the Gray told her that if she told anyone about the visit, her cat would be killed. Amy did try to tell her mother, however, and the kitten subsequently died, although today Amy is reluctant to believe the death was a deliberate act by the aliens.
She also briefly remembered an experience a few years later, of a huge craft of some sort hovering just above her father's garden. She told Barbara that she was looking at it very closely, wanting to push it away, but somehow she received a clear impression
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that said, "Don't touch." Amy said she did not want to go into the craft, but she was taken inside, where she saw the same Gray who had threatened to kill the cat.
"I saw myself talking to someone inside it," she said. T wasn't supposed to tell. This 'guy' telling me they would kill my cat was inside it. We were near the doorway, and he was taller than I and his face was right up in my face."
Next, she and Barbara explored the memory she had at age fifteen of something jabbing or kicking her and the bed shaking. "During the session," she said later, "I saw myself going to the back door. I couldn't understand because I looked sort of ghost-like and I was floating, not walking." As she tried to look at this event, however, that same scene kept repeating, of her going to the door and reaching for the knob, and she could not get past that point. "I guess it was too hard to look at," she said. "I remember the actual feelings of something in my room and being kicked or jabbed in my back-it felt so real. It was terrifying!"
The third episode they explored involved a childhood "lesson" about religion. "'Churches are not God'," she reported being told, "'statues and pictures are not God. Priests and nuns are not God. Nobody sins.' That doesn't make sense."
"What else did they tell you?" Barbara asked.
'To look beyond the pictures," Amy replied. "It's all lies. That made me mad, that all nuns and the priest were lying. Why did they tell me that when it's not true? They said Jesus was something like a soldier or something, supposed to lead people in some kind of direction."
"What did they want you to know?" Barbara
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persisted.
'That I'm not supposed to [believe]," she said. "I can pretend to be confirmed. I have to pretend that I believe it, say the prayers."
In the second session, Amy retrieved a brief recollection of another "dream" encounter with a Gray she had in April 1993. "I had dreamt that some UFOs were picking people up here and there," she told me later. "Certain people, not at random. I stood and waited for them to come, I was supposed to wait. They shined a bright light on me, and then I was in the ship. First, I was facing a very shiny surface, like mirrors, then I turned around. I saw a lot of Grays at some instruments or controls, very busy.
"One Gray turned to face me, and I knew him. In fact, he was the same Gray I saw [in November 1992] in front of the moon or light. We talked with our eyes. I felt that he and I were very close once, we had been together once somewhere, and we had been the 'same.' It was like we were twins. I actually missed him! I wanted to go back to 'before' because I was remembering something. He told me I was to 'stay here.' I guess he meant in the present."
She also described the identity she felt with the "twin" alien. "I felt that I was one of them," she said, "and I was thinking of Barbara as 'a human with a mouth.' It was like looking through the eyes of a Gray! If I think of it as I am-human-they seem cold and uncaring. If I remember the way it felt to be one of them, in the dream, it is not cold, not uncaring, just the way it is."
In the hypnosis session, Amy could see the two of them in the bedroom, engaged in telepathic conversation, and feeling an old kinship with the
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entity. When Barbara asked why the Gray was there, Amy said, "I'm not supposed to know."
"Ask what you are supposed to know," Barbara suggested.
"He said in the next decade people will be expected to think the same," she reported, "being taught to think the same, like them. Make them easier."
Expanding later on what she was told, Amy said that in the coming decade the aliens doing the abductions would also promote a program in which people will be "taught to think the same. The sad part was that everyone will think it's normal and it is their idea. Even being an 'individual' will seem real but not in actuality. He and other aliens are trying to stop the process. It's been going on for a long time already."
Under hypnosis, as Amy tried to explain this information, she suddenly said, "He tells me to remember the rules. I'm trying. He was trying to help me remember. Departure from the program will result in synapse damage. It's so hard, without words, with words."
"What was that about?" Barbara asked.
"Do what you know to do," Amy parroted the statement of rules from the Gray, "be human, be what you are. Rule number two: No memories, rule number two."
These "rules" were given to Amy very early in her experiences with unidentified entities, and they always included a program to inhibit her talking about these events. An entry in her journal at age seventeen records one of the "rules": "I must not repeat previous mistakes." Amy said the mistake she was not supposed to repeat was the "mistake" of
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telling her mother about the things she had experienced.
The first time as an adult when she tried to tell someone else, external interference stopped her, as the journal entry for December 16,1979 shows. "I was writing a letter to my boyfriend tonight," she recorded. "I was listening to the radio. When I began writing of the difference between what the heart feels and what the brain knows [a lesson imparted to her by the Council], the radio began emitting every tone tolerable and intolerable to the ear. I was about to say something in a letter. I cannot remember what I wanted to say." The interrupting noise contained "voices, in unison, in some (foreign?) language."
Under hypnosis, Amy constantly had difficulty talking about the events, and she often repeated the rule against "telling." When Barbara tried to discuss the implanted blocks later, Amy was doubtful and couldn't accept the idea of the Council programming such an inhibition. It wasn't until she searched back through the old journals and saw entry after entry about not "talking" that she finally acknowledged the evidence of possible programmed control.
Her memories of the November 1992 dream-event were much more detailed, and easily discussed, as if the programming were ineffective, at least to a point. She penetrated several screens, recognizing that the large spider was actually a floating probe device in the room with her and the human figures she'd recalled. She also realized that she was with them and the spidery probe, for part of the encounter, in her own apartment.
But the most important information to emerge concerned the implants. When she described the
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flesh-colored object removed from her ear, she told Barbara that it was used as a transmitter and monitor. Amy said that the masked alien also explained the purpose of the implant she removed from the spine.
"She said that it short-circuits and it can kill!" Amy said. 'They can kill as many as they want. It's in the neck. It's old, but some people have them. When they want to kill them, they...I don't like that thing. It does many things."
"What other things?" Barbara inquired.
"They make people like puppets!" Amy exclaimed. "She says they can control anyone that way. Bunch of damn robots walking around. But they're taking them out. They're old. Sometimes in the base of the spine, real low, but that's only half of the control. The other half controls up and down. Up to the brain or down the body. Old. They use something else now."
"Where does the new one go?" Barbara asked.
"Cerebellum," Amy answered.
"How do they put it in?"
"Not in the back like the old ones," Amy replied, pointing instead to a spot behind her ear. "You couldn't take it out, only they can. They can make...the people with the new ones and old ones in them...do what they tell them to do. If they don't, they do other things, switch them like puppets, switch them off. They can kill them, or turn it, many different degrees....they can use it as punishment, take away control but leave consciousness, or control the consciousness. Or they can kill. I'm mad!
"On one end it can kill, the other end, control, and in-between levels. Punishment is in the middle where there's consciousness but no control. Repetition, over
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and over, the fear takes over, and they don't have to punish any more. Fear is paired with punishment, so they don't have to move the switch so far. Fear and control. And if that doesn't work, they switch it to kill. When the body stops, it disintegrates all implants. Electrical activity ceases. Huh! That's gross but funny. They use our own brains as the batteries...feedback loop like a generator, through the implant and circuits back. When the circuit is broken, the implant dissolves. Little, like a Tic-Tac."
"How many people do you think have implants?" Barbara asked. "Is there a selection?"
"Whoever responds to fear, in any degree," Amy replied. "They test you. She says they tested me for the fear, nuclear holocaust fear [referring to numerous nightmares]. I did good, became afraid. I was wondering how they found me. Oh, follow the signal. The old ones they can follow easily. They changed to new ones, changed the signals, those buggers. They [the abducting and implanting aliens] know they're [the 'apologetic' alien-human group] out there taking them out, and they don't like it. That's why they change them sometimes, put in a different signal."
"Who does this changing?" Barbara asked.
'The others...other tribes?" Amy tried to explain.
Barbara asked her to describe these others, but Amy was focused on something else. "She says it's here in a year," she said, pointing to her forehead.
"What is there in a year?" Barbara asked.
"What I'll need, tools," Amy answered. "Focus, very important. She say's I'm not ready yet, to know. In a year. She said I'll remember the three guys standing over there. They're watching. They're not regular. They can talk with their eyes. Don't know if
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they learned it or what. The silver-haired one, [and] one with glasses."
"Are they alien?"
"Some. Their eyes, they wear contact covers. Without them," Amy explained, "they're slit, but they look like people. Not cat's eyes, too big. A line. He says he's a lot like me anyway. Gray-silver hair, he's the main one. He's telling me to forget them. Six feet tall, average build, regular shirt."
"How about his face?"
"Kind of not thin, not fat, right size for the body," she said. "The eyes don't fit." She indicated that the man had a widow's peak hairline. "Coarse hair," she said, "average length, like an average businessman. He could be one, with those contact lenses. He's nice."
"What about the other two men?" Barbara asked.
"He said, Don't look. He let me look at him but not at them. One has on contacts, though, I saw that. Brown, dark eyes but no pupil or iris or center spot, if people look closely. That's why they sometimes wear tinted glasses."
"How do you feel about these guys?" Barbara wanted to know.
"Sad," Amy told her. 'They used to be where I was, manipulated by them. They don't want to tell me too much because it was more than I can take. That's why he says to look away."
"Are all humans manipulated?"
"Not all."
As difficult as it was for Amy to speak freely in a trance state, out of hypnosis later she described the things she'd been unable to articulate. She gave detailed descriptions of the scene in the dining room, where she saw the probe accompanying the three
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men. After being introduced to the masked alien, she was next aware of being taken into a large, underground room. She was led by two beings into the room, noticing the rough rock walls that proved she was below ground level. At that time she lived directly across the street from a FEMA underground facility, and that facility had undergone a massive expansion, both above ground with numerous antenna arrays and new buildings, and below the ground as well. But there was no way of knowing if she were in that facility or somewhere else.
Amy sketched the room in the facility where she and the men were with the masked aliens. She had smelled a certain odor during the hypnotic recollection, resembling "polish remover," which came from "a black ribbed tube on the side of the room." The masked alien told her it helped the aliens present to breathe better. And when questioned about evidence of a military atmosphere in the facility, Amy said she didn't observe any.
She had more to say about the humans, too, especially the silver-haired leader she nicknamed "Ol' Slit Eyes." "Ever since the hypnosis session," she remarked, "the image of Ol' Slit Eyes has stayed with me, vividly. Once you 'talk' that way, you always feel the link. I get the feeling Ol' Slit Eyes is either in our government or some high position in the military," she added. "People see him every day but don't know who he really is."
As for the other two men, she said, 'The feelings I got from those three guys was deep sadness. They were designed like we are. They were watching me 'talk' with Ol' Gray and assessing how I handled the information and my 'loyalty.' It was just a feeling I
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caught from them."
Concerned about what she remembered being told of the implant's placement and functions, Amy went to medical texts for information about the cerebellum and medulla oblongata, the locations identified for the implants. She learned that the medulla is a switching center for nerve impulses of the higher brain centers controlling vital functions such as temperature, pulse, swallowing, and breathing.
The cerebellum was identified as the control source for muscle tone and equilibrium, as well as voluntary movements, coordination, and even the vocal cords-which, Amy noted, might explain the physical difficulty some abductees experience when trying to discuss their encounters. The information corresponded with the controls the masked alien said were functions of the implants.
After the November 1992 dream-event, Amy continued to recall several other dream-memories. She had sudden flashback memories and also witnessed more overt evidence of alien intrusions. She had more dreams of moving through solid objects, one involving her daughters, and Amy said she was not "happy" about seeing entities with them, although she felt the tall beings standing there with them were "quiet," "wise," and "rather nice." She dreamed of being aboard a craft, again with masked aliens, who said that humans were going to be told "who and what they really are" as well as "the truth about everyone." In another dream, she was made to feel that the "government" was "going to kill" her for talking about what the government was doing to people.
During one "teaching dream" Amy woke up and
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could actually hear the voice of the "lady" talking in her head. "It is not a dream!" she noted in her journal. 'Tried to write what the 'lady' was saying, heard her say, 'NO!' and suddenly began forgetting. Tried to write fast but hand went numb. Very tired all day, took a nap-more teaching dreams."
One of the most disturbing dreams occurred in June 1993, where Amy said she "had the vivid sensation of being held still by wires or tubes going into my head." Everything about the dream felt real. "I was pissed!" Amy said. "I could actually feel something going into my head. I wanted to pull them out, but I couldn't get my hands up to my head, my hands wouldn't move.
'Then I heard someone say, in my mind, You don't want to pull them out. You will hurt yourself. With that warning I saw a clear image of what would happen if I pulled the things out of my head. I saw the wires/tubes coming out and pieces of my brain were stuck to them and dropped off onto the floor. I just had to be still until it was finished. It didn't hurt," she added. "I was just so mad at not being able to move my head. I've never had a dream like that before. I'm still made as hell!"
On the night of September 20, 1993, Amy experienced a time gap, and her record of the event in her journal is very typical of such reports. After first noting that the phone made a strange "beep" at 11:17 p.m., she wrote, "I was sitting here at my desk in my study, and I noticed that I felt funny all of a sudden. I've felt that sudden, brief anxiety feeling before."
Her daughter walked in at that moment, and Amy reacted angrily because the child should have been in bed by that time, 12:07 a.m. "Then I went back to my
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work," she wrote, "and I felt bad that I had yelled at Grace. A few minutes later, I heard a noise that sounded like the door knob of the front door being turned. I thought Grace was opening the door to look for me (when I take the dog out). I jumped up and looked out the little window on the front door, but Grace was not outside.
"I turned on the light, but no one was on the porch. I opened the door and looked out, but no one was outside. I thought it was strange that I'd heard that sound. I went back to my work in my study. Then I looked at the time, and it was 1:27 a.m.!! I couldn't believe it! I'd lost an hour and twenty minutes."
Seamlessly, the time gap had occurred, and she had no memory of any disruption. But other times she had flashback memories pop up suddenly, including one scene in which she woke up one night hearing the words, Did you think it was all by accident? The statement's meaning was clear, she said, "that the Earth is a giant zoo or experiment."
Other such "downloadings" of ideas and scenes included one of a "future world" our children will "inherit," a world that is "dying." On one occasion, the thought, We were without form played through her head repeatedly. Two other such thoughts were more disturbing: Survival of the fittest. That's why wars are promoted, one said, and the other repeated, Death is the journey Home.
She also recalled a lesson which showed how the aliens use "frightening images" through 'mental projections" to control humans. "Fear is the real enemy," she said.
In April 1993, Amy had her first taste of a
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phenomenon all too familiar to abductees: the black helicopters. After the first one flew over her home she noted, "They really do exist-now I know what one looks like." Other such flights have occurred since then, frequently late at night with repeated circular passes above her home.
And like so many other abductees, Amy has reason to believe her children have been touched by the phenomenon. One daughter recently said her leg was tingling "the way it feels when you put it through the wall," indicating to Amy that the child might well have been receiving the same sort of instruction she herself had. Her other daughter described two types of "balls of light" she has seen repeatedly in the house. On is larger than a basketball and multicolored, and the other type is smaller, displaying a trail or tail of some sort.
Amy was very concerned about further evidence of her children's involvement after what she thought was a dream turned out to be highly questionable. In the first part, she was aboard a ship with several smaller Grays and two or three six-foot-tall entities. The Grays told her that human concepts of "Armageddon" were not correct. "I remember thinking that what they told me was nothing like anything I, or anyone, had ever imagined," she said. And while this occurred, Amy said she could feel the taller beings "directing" the lecture and that their mind was in her mind, an intensely felt presence that made her "want to cry."
It was similar to the intensity of the "lady" who taught her things, she said. "No matter how tough I consider myself to be, I wouldn't stand a chance against the Tall Ones," she emphasized. "I think they
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reminded me that they have me, body and soul, and always have had me."
In the next part of the dream, she and her daughter Grace were involved in a series of scenes and events culminating with a police car approaching them. Amy said it had very bright lights that were "not right for a police car." The policeman inside, whom she didn't like, spoke to her, but then she awoke from the dream when her other daughter began coughing. She later went back to bed, hearing a "loud static-buzz sound" before falling asleep.
The next morning while cooking, Amy said her ear began to itch. "I rubbed my finger in my ear and felt something inside and outside of my ear. I looked at my finger, and there was some dried blood on it. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I could see dried blood in my ear and down my cheek."
Frightened that this had something to do with the strange dream, she carefully questioned her daughters to see if their night had been disturbed. Grace said she'd had a weird dream, and Amy began to tell her about the dream she had. When she reached the part about the colored lights on the police car, Grace finished the sentence for her, describing them as "like a rainbow." Amy asked her how she remembered seeing them, but Grace couldn't explain.
Amy's memories and the children's various remarks indicate alien contact with the entire family, although Amy is more convinced by the "hard evidence" and conscious experiences she has witnessed. Grace's recent spate of nosebleeds, for example, are a worrisome indication of possible implant activity, and Amy has further been mystified by certain unexplained scars on her body, including
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the circular scar on her shoulder and a one-inch linear scar down the middle of her nose that appeared in late 1993. This sort of evidence-as well as her conscious daytime UFO sighting in January 1994, of four objects merging into one-are all unwelcome because they make it difficult for Amy to reject the phenomenon's reality.
She knows that it is more than a question of random abductions, from the information she has been shown, and she is concerned about the direction and nature of events indicated by the information.
In November 1993 she recorded a vivid dream in which she was with other people in a large room. "We were told that we were selected to experience the end of the world," she wrote. "God was this ball of light that looked like a little sun. God was telling us that what we experienced was for all...that we should feel honored and lucky to experience the end of the world."
It was explained that Amy and the other humans were really "spirit beings" seeking challenging experiences. "Our true nature is to seek every opportunity to grow and to learn. Even sadness, sorrow, pain, and misery represent opportunities to experience and learn. I understood that the meaning of life was just to experience, that's all-experience."
This message resonates with another communication Amy has had from her unseen guides, telling her that humans are "a species within a species" and that our bodies are mere "containers" for the spiritual entities we truly are.
Another piece of information came in a conscious flash or vision, in which it was explained that a particular person would be coming to public notice
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claiming to be Christ. Amy said she was shown how all the religious people around the world would perceive this person as the incarnation of whatever deity they worshiped, and that he would be accepted as god on earth. This would cause many people to turn against those who didn't accept the new figure, leading to the persecution and suppression of what is actually true. In effect, she explained, the false leader and his false religious teaching would win out over spiritual truth.
A startling encounter in January 1994 had caused Amy to wonder even more about her lifelong involvement with the "Council." She heard about a very strange group of people, who called themselves the "Total Overcomers" or the "Omega" group, holding meetings in the Dallas area. Two of her acquaintances attended the meetings, and from the details they reported, Amy decided to invite the "Overcomers" to hold a meeting in her city, which they did. At that meeting, they told Amy and others attending that they had just emerged from their "classroom" after eighteen years of preparation under the total guidance of their twenty-four elders. Now they were traveling through the country to "harvest" the people who had been "implanted" with the proper knowledge and who were ready to make the transition to the next stage of "more than human."
This required breaking all human ties of love, family and friendship-bonds that keep us tied to the material world-as well as living in celibacy and surrendering all decisions to the "elders." They also said that everyone but their group had been warped and programmed negatively, either by society's false values or, in cases of alien contact, by "Luciferian"
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aliens-which included all groups except the one that had originally instructed the "elders."
Amy described the four "Overcomers" whom she met as tall, thin, pale, asexual in dress (black clothing) and hair style, "clone-like" in appearance, and rigidly controlled emotionally. In fact, she said that she could not feel any "souls" in these four people. Their message was equally rigid: followers must go with the "Overcomers" immediately, without a word to their families, with no belongings, and without any clue as to where they will go next.
These cultish demands were weird enough to Amy, but the truly disturbing aspect of the "Overcomers," she said, was the details and phrasing of their tenets given by the "elders," for they echoed exactly the things that Amy has been taught by her "Council." And the products of those teachings-in this cult, at least-felt extremely wrong.
"After all I've been learning about implants and mind-control," she told me, "I must ask who the Council really is. I am so afraid of them now. What if they have been programming me all this time to do things someday that may not be good for my planet? They have never told me to do anything contrary to my beliefs before, but what if they are just gaining my trust? What if they really are good and teaching me to help my planet and I stop listening to them? What if they are just some defense mechanism and all just my imagination? Somehow I'd rather be crazy than for it all to be real. So, since I don't know who or what the Council really is, I am listening to them more cautiously. I just keep asking God to help me find the Truth. God I am sure of."
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